When being your authentic self at work isn’t so easy

In my new eBook, “Bringing Greater Heart and Soul to Fundraising: Building Authentic Donor Relationships,” I include a reflection on how for some of us, being our authentic selves at work isn’t so easy. Not necessarily because we don’t value ourselves and our individuality, but some organizational cultures aren’t as welcoming to communities outside of their own. Authenticity is essential to building relationships with donors. It underpins our work. Once the donor learns our organization's mission and desires to know more, we must then build trust and rapport with her.

But what if the fundraiser feels stifled and unable to be their true self without conforming and policing every aspect of their existence?

Here’s how that might look.

In 2019, California enacted the CROWN (Create a Respectful and Open Workplace for Natural Hair) Act (SB 188), a California law that prohibits discrimination based on hairstyle and hair texture by extending protection for both categories under the FEHA and the California Education Code. Multiple states and local governments have passed laws prohibiting such discrimination. Could you imagine not being able to wear your hair the way it grows out of your head unless it’s manipulated and styled to meet someone else’s standards? Or that you can’t wear your cultural hairstyle. It sounds so…so… silly, doesn’t it? But it is the reality for so many of us whose hair does not meet Western standards.

Less trivial than hair is sexual orientation and religious identity. Individuals who can’t share their family stories, marriage proposals, religious customs in the Monday morning “water cooler” talk or now the brief Zoom chat that happens before the meeting officially kicks off. Can you imagine having to pick and choose (or not talk at all) about anything with your colleagues of which you spend more of your time than your own family and loved ones?

Or having to change or shorten your name, monitor every single interaction, carefully analyze every spoken or written communication for fear of being too direct, too aggressive, too angry, controlling every facial expression, or second-guessing your attire, all.the.time? Now, if that’s not enough, add in a pandemic.

(Yes, it is exhausting. *pause*)

I am not arguing that there shouldn’t be a distinction between personal and professional. Still, at the very least, everyone should feel comfortable showing up to work without anxiety or stress for just being themselves.

I am hopeful that the next generation of leaders will create more accepting and welcoming environments that my generation and the one before me didn’t. And as emerging leaders become the next CDO, VP of Advancement, CEO, ED, President, and the like, they will value the diversity in others and invite donors and volunteers to welcome the ever-expanding face of philanthropy and fundraising. I dream of a time when the “case for diversity” is no longer needed.

To those who find it difficult showing up to work as their authentic selves, until we can conquer the need for DEI, you must find community, join professional associations and FB groups, get training and education in your field of practice. There is a place for you; trust me, there is. Patience and mentors will help to guide you there.